I'd like to discuss a very important issue in all of our lives; blowjobs. There used to be a time when classy ladies would gratefully get on their knees and perform the wonderful act of fellatio until you came, either in one of her orifices or on your self. However, my good friends, times have changed. The "blowjob with the intent to cum" has gone by the wayside.
Now-a-days, the "Blow J" is seen as a stepping stone on the way to sex, if even given at all. Some girls refuse to do it, saying "ew, i dont give head" while other girls may give blowies on the reg. Either way, these blow jobs are just a warm up for the main event- the main event obviously being sex a.k.a. having a seizure while being inside of a nice, respectable young woman.
Here are the benefits to "intent to cum BJ's" versus "pre-sex BJ's"
- You dont have to try to hold on longer because u know there is sex to be had
- You can have bad sex, you can't have a bad BJ
- During sex you always imagine someone else, during a BJ, it doesn't matter what she looks like
- It is easier to never call back a girl who only blew you, plus they are less clingy
- You dont have to worry about bein a 3 pump chump and her tellin her friends
- With the girls face so close to your penis, you are 73% more likely to either
A) Bust in her face
B) Bust in her hair (bonus points)
or C) Have her swallow- the most amazing thing there is
So my dear friends, as you can clearly see we need to bring back BJ's with the intent to cum. Next time a girl is going down on you and is expecting sex in return, say "fuck that" and let her keep slobbin the knob until you blow like Shamu...
Pacman Joel-- OUT
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